Congratulations! But why are you doing it?

About a year ago M and I started telling family and friends that we were going to get married.

Most of the times we got reactions such as “Congratulations!”, “I’m so happy for you!”, “Yeah!”. Other people didn’t seem very excited, and just told us “Uh, ok”. Better still than “Whatever”, but luckily no one said that!

Then we also received comments like “It was about time!”, “You’ve been together for such a long time!”. And while I replied with a vague “Yeah, right!” and a smile, I would start thinking What does it mean It was about time?! So after a certain amount of time you have to get married? I don’t think so! And what about people that decide to get married after being together a year or two? They should wait, or what?

Sometime the comment “You’ve been together for such a long time” was followed by “It’s not going to change anything”. Wait, what? Then we might as well stop planning the wedding, because what’s the point?

OK, I know they were just saying and they didn’t mean anything wrong. But still…

To me “It’s not going to change anything” sounds a lot like “Whatever”. And “You’ve been together for such a long time” it’s like saying “Of course you’re getting married, it’s just what you do”. Here’s the thing, maybe some people do get married because that’s what you do, but for us it was a carefully thought decision.

I know I was, and I am overreacting! Anyway, my thoughts about that kind of reactions, I just kept them for myself. Or share them with M. And now here.

It’s just that thinking that They’re just saying doesn’t help. Because I don’t want people to just say something, but I would appreciate that they show some interest. Like a friend of M’s. The only one who, after M told him that we had decided to get married, asked “Why?”. Thank you!

Well, basically the answer is “To make it official”. To be officially be seen as a couple, as a family. That’s why I proposed. Because as long as we were living in the Netherlands, we were already considered a family. And since we had decided to move back to Italy, I wanted that to continue, and not just to be seen as two people living together. We both know that we are more than that, but we wanted the Italian state, society, friends and family to also acknowledge that.

Some might think that the answer should be “Because we love each other”. Of course we do. But as we cynically like to say “Love has nothing to do with our decision to get married!”

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It’s clean up time!

I’m travelling a lot this month. I went to Delft for a few days at the beginning of June, yesterday I got back from Leipzig where I spent the weekend visiting friends, and Friday I’m going to Canada for a couple of weeks. Between one vacation and the other, I took some time to clean up my wardrobe. Now I’ve a box full of old clothes, or clothes not-so-old but that I never use.

Today I’ve done a bit of “spring cleaning” (or summer cleaning I should say) also on this blog. I’ve updated the about page, as one more year has gone by since my graduation. And I’ve removed the postaday tag along with the postaday widget. I must admit that this idea of blogging once a day didn’t work out very well, but that’s ok.

Next on the list is the balcony. After a spring full of flowers – tulips and hyacinths – I’ve now a bunch of empty pots. My plan of having some herbs also didn’t work out… Maybe when we come back from Canada I can do something about it.

And while I think about tidying up around me, I shouldn’t forget there’s something else that needs to be sorted out, fixed and reorganized: me.

Snow On the Windmills – day 2

Still not snowing here in Milan (not yet!), but WordPress has provided its bloggers with a very cool and snowy feature. So let it snow here on Noises and sweet airs, let it snow on the windmills!

The picture was taken in July, and maybe snow is a bit out-of-place. But the weather in the Netherlands can be quite strange, so…let it snow! let it snow! let it snow!

Another One-Way Ticket

Last Friday was moving day. Early in the morning, the movers came to the apartment to pick up our things. Boxes full of clothes, books, kitchen items and stuff. Then we had to clean up the apartment and leave.

When we got to the station to catch the train to the airport, I remembered that it had been there, at the train station two years before, that we told each other OK. Let’s move here. Let’s try. We then learned that it was not the right attitude. Do or don’t. There’s no trying.

But anyway…there we were, moving again after two years in the Netherlands. Back to Italy, this time. And now we’re here in Milan. Kind of picking up things where we left them, but also starting anew.

I’m not really missing Holland (not yet!), but I quite enjoyed living in Delft (even though I had my ups and downs!). I should probably write something about what I enjoyed the most, what I learned, what I liked, what I didn’t like. And I’ll do. Sooner or later.

So, more to come about my old life in the Netherlands and my “old-new” life here. Stay tuned!

Season of Mists

I used to like those days “in-between” summer and autumn. When it starts to get chilly in the morning, leaves turn yellow, red, brown, and the sun is still bright and warm.

But this year, I feel like summer has never really started. Yes, we had a few warm, sunny days in July, maybe a couple in August. I also went back to Italy twice – end of July and end of August – and I did enjoy two weeks of real summer. And that’s it. For the most part, what I remember about this summer in the Netherlands is grey skies, wind and rain. An autumn-like summer.

I really feel like I missed something. A beautiful spring turned into autumn, giving us just a glimpse of summer.

I look out the window. The sky is grey, the wind is blowing and it’s raining. It’s also getting cooler, so autumn is definitely here.

But this year I’m not sure I can enjoy the change. I read Keats’ poem To Autumn, I look outside and I can’t see the mellow fruitfulness, I can’t think that warm days will never cease. I can only wonder where are the songs of Spring?